i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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