Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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