is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize