let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
