Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
