Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize