You can't motorboat a personality
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
