My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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