I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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