I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
