What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
