Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am puke
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
