the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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