how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Randomize
