He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
