Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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