I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Quick, to the slutcave!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
