i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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