How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize