Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
