What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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