A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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