am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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