I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
