Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
