are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
