.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
