If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I pour the whiskey from now on
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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