hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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