he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
