I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
