I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
