you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize