after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
