I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
