I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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