He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
