I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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