Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
