she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
