Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
