If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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