He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
