I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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