I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
