is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You're like the curious george of whores
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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