I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
