i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
