what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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