moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
