The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
