pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
