O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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