I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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