After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
