Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I did not marry a roomba.
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