You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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