Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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