I skipped work to stalk him.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he thought i was a dude.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
