I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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