maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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