Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
