kristin has been a bad kristin
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
