he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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