I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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